I don’t know how my mum, and many women get it all done. I was one of five children in my house and my mum had it all running like clockwork and we never seemed to want for clean clothes or school uniforms and were always fed and watered.
I had a clear set of goals that I wanted to achieve, keeping up with the housework each day and a few DIY jobs were on my list. Today I started off feeling a bit ambitious to say the least, my plan being to put some shelves and a mirror up in the bathroom, but as my wife was at work all day I realised how tricky this would be with the boy in tow. The sound of power tools makes him scream like a banshee, and drilling whilst he has a nap is just asking× for trouble. DIY needed 2 adults in the house for sure, one to watch the boy and one to man the power tools.
And so I revised my plans and decided to just do what I knew I could achieve by myself, but as is often the way for parents this didn’t go according to plan and my plans were sent awry by the Boy. The Boy decided that just as my wife was leaving for work that he wanted her half full coffee cup from the dining table which is adjacent to ‘baby prison'. This is the name we have given to his play pen, as it’s the one place he cannot cause any mischief....or so we thought. Within a split second the boy was swimming in (thankfully cold) coffee and the realisation hit that this was my job and mine alone to clean up. Now this could've been a horrible accident and both my wife and I horrified that we had failed to notice the cup was in the danger zone, as anything within 10 inches of the end of the table is fair game and will be subjected to a full taste and bite test by the boy. But as I said before the coffee was cold (standard temperature for a parent) so thankfully it was just a massive clean up operation of a wet baby and all the coffee covered clothes, toys and cushions went into the washing machine.
With the wife off to work and the boy freshly clothed I continued with the morning routine and got big sister fed and ready for school and at 8.45 we left to do the school run. When the boy and I returned it was now his turn for breakfast and then his morning nap. Now people who know me will know that the boy has a nickname, and that nickname is ‘Mr No-naps’. So today Mr No-naps decided that today was THE day that he was going to break all previous records for the morning nap and slept for 2hours and 24 minutes, which is great for him but terrible for me as I daren’t go into the bedroom to get which should’ve been the first load of washing or couldn’t do any drilling for mirrors and shelves. So instead I did the things I could do, morning dishes and the now clean coffee covered toys and cushions on the clothes airer.
I had planned to go into town after lunch to get a few bits from Wilkinson and Boots but the boy was rubbing his eyes, could it be that he was tired once more? surely not. So I put him into his hated ‘nap position' (more like a forced cuddle) which resulted in the usual tantrum as I tried and ultimately failed to get him to sleep and after 30 minutes or so I admitted defeat and gave up. Now it was after 2 (why does time go so quickly in the afternoon?). So we got ready for a trip to town and by the time we left I realised I wouldn’t have time to do all I needed to do and settled to just do the essential shopping and then on to the school pick-up.
After school it’s dinner and bedtime for the boy and some snuggle time with big sister before her story and bedtime, and I was just putting the last few clothes on the airer from my original planned load of washing as my wife got home from work at 8ish,and as she went upstairs to say goodnight to our daughter who had waited up specially for her to come home I finished up the washing poured the wine and cued up the walking dead. As I did this I pondered the day and what I had accomplished, admittedly I hadn’t got everything done that I had wanted but as Meatloaf once sang ‘two outta three ain’t bad'.